How to keep your baby’s memory alive:
(Don’t feel there is any set time-schedule for your grief journey. You may want to do any of these “things” immediately, months down the track or never at all)
- Name your baby, you will feel a deeper connection.
- Plant a tree, nurture it and watch it grow.
- Join a support group (list coming soon). Spilling your heart out to non-judgemental strangers who have experienced the same loss will help you immensely.
- Create a memorial website. Please feel welcome to visit Jayden’s site if you need some inspiration (click here and type "Jayden" and "Thomson" into search boxes at top of page).
- Start a family tradition on your baby’s birthday or anniversary or special holiday. For example, each year on Jayden’s birthday we go to the memorial gardens where he was cremated and release a balloon identical to the one we had at his funeral service. Every Christmas, we donate a toy to charity that would be suitable for a child the same age he would have been.
- Choose a symbol (i.e. butterflies, balloons, feathers etc) to represent your baby. I wear a butterfly pendant around my neck.
- Write a letter or poem or keep a journal.
- Scrapbook – whether it be actual photos of your child or pictures / words of your treasured memories and the hopes and dreams you had for your him/her.
- Construct a Memory Garden in your yard or perhaps your church might let you do this in their grounds.
- Wear an urn necklace containing some cremation ash or burial soil.
- Place a meaningful wind chime in a spot where it will catch a gentle breeze and let it’s pretty jingles soothe you.
- Read lots of books on grief and loss – it helps to know other people have been through the same pain and not only that, sections of books can be read over and over.
- Keep a Memory Book or album and record your pregnancy memories, baby’s vital statistics, your first thoughts, mementos such as a lock of hair, footprints, birth/death/baptism certificate etc, cards and gifts you received and ways in which you commemorate birthdays and anniversaries.